I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
