woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
Randomize
