I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Randomize
