JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
