i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
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