My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Randomize