you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
she pinky promised me she was 18
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
The Olympian is in my bed
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
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