so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize