They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
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