with your own penis?
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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