I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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