So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
Randomize
