You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
I want to fling myself into the sun
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
Randomize
