I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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