im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
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