Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
I JUST MACED MY OWN FACE
This is by far the best text I have ever woken up to.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
