I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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