I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
Damn victory sex feels great
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
