escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
God I need to hump something, right now.
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
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