At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
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