I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
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