I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
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