It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
Randomize
