It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
Randomize
