Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
