The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
Randomize
