i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
