i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
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