Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
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