I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Randomize
