So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Randomize
