brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
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