ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
Randomize
