If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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