We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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