I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
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