About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Randomize
