I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
Randomize
