GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Randomize
