we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
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