It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
Somewhere out there, on several phones belonging to strangers, exists a video of me rapping Baby Got Back on stage in four inch heels that I stole from the drag queen. Also I made out with the chick with the octopus tattoo.
You have the best birthdays
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
Randomize
