i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Randomize
