You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
