I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
