We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
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