Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
Randomize