I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
Randomize
