Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
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