Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
