Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
Randomize
