Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize
