I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
Randomize