we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
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