The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
i just stumbled downstairs, still drunk, to hug my dad and wish him a happy fathers day
but fathers day is next sunday
i realized that after i threw up on his bare feet
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
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