i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
Randomize
