i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
Randomize
