They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
Randomize
