DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
Randomize
