I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
