I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
Randomize
