he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
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