you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
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