You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
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